Understanding Schemas: The Foundation of Our Thoughts, Feelings, and Behaviors
Schemas: An Overview
I've always been the kind of person who needs to get to the bottom of things. There's this deep-seated drive in me to understand the "why" behind everything—a compulsion to uncover the root cause. Whether something goes wrong or right, I need to know the why and the how. This trait naturally spills over into my work as a mental health practitioner.
When clients come to me, I believe in digging deep to understand the root cause of their behavior. I can't just hand out tools without addressing why the person needed them in the first place. Over the years, this quest to understand human behavior has taken me down many rabbit holes. Why do we see the world the way we do? Why do we make the choices we make? Do we truly have free will, or are we merely navigating paths laid out by unseen forces? These are the questions that keep me up at night. We might never have definitive answers to these questions, but I do know this: everything we believe about ourselves and the world is shaped by our own perceptions, our own stories.
Sometimes, remembering leads to a story, which then becomes a part of us forever. Stories are our way of linking the past to the future. They're for those late hours when we wonder how we got from where we were to where we are. They're for eternity, for when memory fades, leaving only the story behind.
Stories help us organize, predict, and make sense of the complexities of our lives. This process of self-discovery is the catalyst for genuine healing. It all begins with self-awareness. By unraveling our stories and getting to the core of what makes us who we are, we can begin to shift our perspectives—of ourselves and of the world—embarking on a transformative journey toward healing.
At the root of our stories are our schemas, the mental frameworks that shape our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Understanding these schemas is crucial because they influence how we perceive ourselves and the world around us. By identifying and challenging these deeply ingrained patterns, we can begin to rewrite our stories, and begin to live a healthier, more authentic life.
What is a Schema?
A schema refers to a pervasive and enduring pattern of thinking, feeling, and behaving that develops during childhood and adolescence, and continues to influence our lives well into adulthood. These patterns are often maladaptive and can lead to chronic emotional and interpersonal difficulties.
The word Schema may be a new word for you, but you are most likely familiar with one or more of the following terms, which are all terms that refer to schemas;
- Core Beliefs
- Cognitive Frameworks
- Mental Models
- Internalized Narratives
- Automatic Thoughts
- Cognitive Patterns
- Mindsets
- Behavioural Scripts
- Psychological Blueprints
- Cognitive Schemas
- Perceptual Filters
- Thought Patterns
- Implicit Beliefs
- Subconscious Scripts
- Mental Constructs
These terms all describe the underlying structures that shape how we interpret and respond to our experiences.
How Schemas are Formed and Their Impact in Adulthood
Schemas are typically formed during childhood through early experiences with caregivers, family members, and peers. They are shaped by unmet emotional needs, such as the need for security, autonomy, and self-worth. When these needs are not adequately met, children develop maladaptive schemas as a way to cope with the emotional distress.
As we grow into adulthood, these schemas become deeply ingrained in our personality and continue to influence how we perceive ourselves, others, and the world around us. They can affect our relationships, self-esteem, and overall mental health. For example, someone with an "Abandonment/Instability" schema may constantly fear that loved ones will leave them, leading to clingy or avoidant behaviour in relationships.
The 18 Schemas: Descriptions and Examples
There are 18 known schemas, and the truth is that we all have some of these schemas. Some individuals have more, some less, but we all have at least a few. Below are the 18 schemas as well as specific examples of what these schemas look like.
- Abandonment/Instability
Description: The belief that significant others will not be able to provide consistent emotional support, connection, or protection.
Example: An adult with this schema might think, "People always leave me. I can’t rely on anyone." - Mistrust/Abuse
Description: The expectation that others will intentionally hurt, abuse, or take advantage of you.
Example: "I can't trust anyone; they'll just end up betraying me." - Emotional Deprivation
Description: The belief that your emotional needs will never be met by others.
Example: "No one understands me or cares about how I feel." - Dependence/Incompetence
Description: The belief that you are unable to handle everyday responsibilities without significant help from others.
Example: “I can’t manage on my own. I need someone to help me with everything." - Vulnerability to Harm or Illness
Description: The fear that catastrophe is imminent and you will be unable to prevent it.
Example: "I'm sure I'll get seriously ill or be in an accident." - Enmeshment/Undeveloped Self
Description: Excessive emotional involvement and closeness with one or more significant others at the expense of personal autonomy and individuality.
Example: "I need to stay close to my family, or I’ll lose myself." - Defectiveness/Shame
Description: The belief that you are flawed, unworthy, and will be rejected if others discover the truth.
Example: "If people really knew me, they wouldn’t like me." - Social Isolation/Alienation
Description: The belief that you are isolated from the rest of the world, different from other people, and/or not part of any group or community.
Example: "I don’t fit in anywhere. I’m always the outsider." - Approval-Seeking/Recognition-Seeking
Description: The excessive emphasis on gaining approval and recognition from others at the expense of genuine self-expression and personal needs.
Example: "I need to be admired to feel good about myself." - Failure
Description: The belief that you are fundamentally inadequate in areas of achievement, such as school, work, or sports.
Example: "I’m a failure. I can’t do anything right." - Subjugation
Description: The belief that you must surrender control to others to avoid negative consequences.
Example: "I have to do what others want, or they’ll get angry with me." - Self-Sacrifice
Description: The excessive focus on meeting the needs of others at the expense of your own needs.
Example: "I must always help others, even if it means neglecting myself." - Unrelenting Standards/Hypercriticalness
Description: The belief that you must meet very high internalized standards of behavior and performance.
Example: "I have to be perfect. Anything less is unacceptable." - Negativity/Pessimism
Description: The pervasive focus on the negative aspects of life while minimizing the positive.
Example: "Things never work out for me. It’s always going to be bad."
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Conclusion
Understanding these 18 schemas and their impacts can help individuals recognize patterns in their own behavior and thought processes that may be holding them back. Schema therapy provides tools and strategies to challenge and change these deep-rooted patterns, leading to healthier relationships and a more fulfilling life. If you recognize any of these schemas in yourself, consider seeking the guidance of a trained schema therapist to support you on your journey to healing and self-improvement.
